The Rules

Every year I look for Esquire's book, The Rules: A Man's Guide to LIFE. "The rules run the gamut of the code of human conduct, from things athletic to things zoological. What we offer is a collection of 688 of the best of the best rules, revised and expanded, and now illustrated with color photographs. From manly musings to sound advice, these rules are guaranteed to set a guy straight."

Now I've been an Esquire subscriber off and on (mostly on) for the past 10 years. They sprinkle their "rules" in the first 10-15 pages of the magazine and they're hilarious, but most of the time they're spot on. I laugh, but I find myself agreeing entirely. And so this little quarter-sized book filled with their "rules" is a must-have item that can be found online anywhere and definitely in your favorite bookstore.

Here there are some of my favorite rules from the Third Edition (2008):

• Rule No. 16 - No talking at the urinal.


• Rule No. 39- People will compliment you on the cheap artwork you purchased at IKEA, but it will feel hollow.


• Rule No. 83 - The last slice of pie is the tastiest.


• Rule No. 135 - Be wary of people who address their dad as "Father."


• Rule No. 203 - Men named Walter are taken more seriously than men named Jason. Also Billy.


• Rule No. 274 - Pliant people are more often than not, smarter than stubborn people.


• Rule No. 322 - A power bar is just a candy bar in a shiny wrapper.


• Rule No. 411 - A man wearing a brightly colored fanny pack is seven-eighths of a man.


• Rule No. 482 - Practicing half-court shots becomes unacceptable after the age of 14.

The book is a riot! Grab yourself a copy if you get the chance!